Wasting Time Is Easy

I finally decided to simplify my life. The electronic age has made everything so simple, so here I am trying to get on board. Keeping everything online obviously reduces my need to store things, especially in my mind. Only one problem, I can't remember my log-in information. Today I spent the better part of the morning sorting through stacks of papers trying to locate my scribbling from my original set-up. Online banking, online prescriptions, online sermon helps, and on and on and on. I actually locked two of my accounts and had to spend time on the telephone communicating with computers so that I could actually have a conversation with a live being, who then tested my memory! How am I supposed to remember all of those things like my "date of birth" and my "zip code"? That is why I wanted to use the computer in the first place, so that I could have all of those forms completed with the "form filler".

I'm sure you've heard of the terrible two's. Well, I am now in the terrible two's, the second half of my life where I am supposed to be old enough to do things right the first time, but too old to remember what it was I was supposed to do to begin with. Those young folks that answer the phone after I have spent half an hour punching in the numbers that direct me through a maze of questions, most of which I have to guess at the answer, I'm finding that they are so soft spoken. I know they are trying to be polite, but would it hurt for them to recognize after the third time I ask them to repeat something to speak with a little more volume and clarity. I mean I appreciate it when my wife uses that soft voice, because I never listen to her anyway, but when I'm trying to write down a new password on one of those slips of paper that I will probably lose within the next half hour, they can at least let me hear the difference between a "p" and a "t".

When I am having a conversation with my family, they all know that my conversations tend to drift a little, especially when I'm in restaurants. They have gotten used to me responding to questions with a smile and then changing the subject. I mean sure the doctor told me my hearing is impaired but that doesn't mean I can't fake it! So what was I talking about? Oh yeah, the Internet. What a marvelous invention! I will always have a special place in my heart for Al Gore. He probably would have won the election too if I could have remembered to wear my glasses so I wouldn't have left that hanging chad. I don't know why they can't just let us vote online. It would make the whole process so much easier and I wouldn't even have to be concerned about the weather. Just give everybody a pin number like the bank does and then I could log-in and vote. No having to punch cards or try to fill in the circle with a #2 pencil. Who has a #2 pencil with them now anyway? We are in the computer age aren't we? Let's get with the program.

I'm not sure I really understand this program for posting my ideas on a blog. I was afraid I was going to have to log in to write something and I couldn't remember my password. I know one thing though -- this computer has really been saving me a lot of time. Since I have started conducting all of my business online, I rarely find myself using my checkbook or driving to the pharmacy. I am glad that I have unlimited minutes on my cell phone though, because I am spending a lot of time talking with those nice, soft spoken folks with customer service these days.

Well, I guess I ought to stop writing for now. I need to call my bank and get them to reset my mobile banking pin one more time. Technology is great! I've spent all day saving time. I just wish I could remember what day it is. Maybe I'll check the online calendar. If anyone knows how to log-in, please send me an email with the instructions. My email address is -- oh never mind. I need to look it up and I don't remember where I wrote it down.